12 June 2026

To be XX or Not to be XY

Looking at my baby bump,
When they say, "it will be a boy",
what they mean is, they want 
a champion with a peg.
whom they can flaunt in their 
ancestry with a hidden wish
that he would light their pyres, 
as though fire itself were averse  
to a particular gender. 

What they might further mean is, 
if it isn't a boy, I would be
held against it. I would be 
shamed, disregarded, and asked 
to turn my uterus into a 3D 
printing machine of hit and trial, 
till it throws away a haughty 
little brat.

Sometimes some of them say, 
"it better be a boy".
what they mean is, I would have to 
thrust my hand in my uterus to 
pinch all the 'X' chromosomes 
in my egg to facilitate 'Y' to bind 
to 'X' of my husband's sperm.

What they'd further mean by it is, 
when the baby comes out of my 
birth canal, they would rush to 
check its genital first, and 
if it is what it isn't, they would 
immediately mourn a life 
that just bloomed. 

They might even consider,
and reconsider what to do with 
it till they run out of options, 
and after that, at most, 
they might let it exist. 
Just fucking merely exist!

And a few, who aren't even 
that considerate, would say
"It should be a boy" like it's
a statutory warning.
what the warning would 
eventually mean is,
If it comes to that, they would 
take me to a sneaky van 
outside the village for an 
ultrasound.

And if the smuggled Chinese 
machine in that detects a 
female foetus,
I might be forced to take 
certain banned medicines 
to force a miscarriage. 
and if in any case, I escape 
thebordeal to birth her-

There are always seasoned 
midwives who could choke the
baby at a cue, or throw her
into the nearby lake.
At the bottom of which 
the other baby girls might 
just be waiting to welcome her 
with better consolation.