07 May 2026

Ila

They ask me her name, and 
an imaginary mirror appears 
in front of me again.
My grey hair gleams in it. 
The wrinkles on my face 
suddenly grow honest, 
and the shame in my eyes 
settles heavily upon my 
shoulders. 

They ask me her name, and 
my tongue fidgets restlessly 
inside my mouth. 
The throat thickens, blood rushes 
up, but before even her 
image fully forms in my head, 
her name collapses into an 
awkward smile.

They ask me her name, and 
my barren lands enter the fray. 
My untouched soul protests 
against the ebb she creates. 
The solitude I have grown 
used to goes into defence.

Even the ghost of my dead wife, 
whose face I no longer
remember-
indulgences itself and asks me
the definition of love- 
The bravery in my veins 
quivers down again.

But why won’t this wretched 
world let my brooding rest? 
Again and again they ask, 
" What’s her name?" 

I try to swallow it back, but they 
do not know how desperately 
I want to scream it away. 
The letters she sent in the
'The Lunchbox' push it 
against my restraint, and 
her name returns tasting 
Like all curries, I relished.

Ohh! They ask her name again 
and again. But I have to 
smile first, to hide the blush. 
The world could end in the 
next instant, but to 
hell with it this time. 

I say "Ila" and the world 
is still there.
But all the weight is off my 
shoulder and I'm in the air.