Waiting... Awaiting

Waiting.
Awaiting...and
Progressively,
Time is stretching.

A minute feels
Like more than
Sixty seconds.
And
Sixty minutes,
I don't know
How many hours.

Boredom yawns
Over me. Turning,
Each moment into
An unbearable
Ghetto.

I see ages
Pass by me.
An era says Hi.
A millennia bids
Me a goodbye.

An epoch has
Fallen short for
The next tick of
My watch.

And God!
Time is slow,
When you,
Keep a track.

Loop

I'm bored and
Time is slow.
Inside; lots of noise,
My mind might blow.

My what's app is
As lonely as me.
Cliche; even movies,
I don't want to see.

Present playlist is
A sheer monotony.
To go on a trip,
Monies, I don't have any.

So..
I'd to give away myself
To the incognito tab,
Only to meet my
Sweet guilt again.

God! every freaking day,
Is the same. Like a loop.

Omni-

Everywhere;
Even when
Everyone isn't.
You're there.
Like always.

In the nights,
For the days.
When I'm alone,
Even in a crowd.
You're there.

And if you hadn't
Come with the
Freaking silence.
Maybe I would 've
Loved you more-

Miss Lonely.

Suicidal Head Cage

Should I let these
Blunt thoughts cut open
My veins and run it dry.

Or from this mysterious
Ceiling, choke this
Noisy head to quietude?

Will it be easy to
Intoxicate the insides
And surrender to sleep.

Or off a cliff
Should I just ask the
Gravity to do the job?

What should I do?

Give away myself to
This passing moment or
Laugh at it and let it go?

Why am I not
Brave enough to commit
This act of cowardice?

Any motivational speakers?

Insomnia

The days are not
Like days anymore.
The nights are not
Like nights anymore.

I'm just,
Differently awake.
Differently asleep.

Thinking of the days
I was alive,
Waking up in the
Worst nightmares.

Most of the times,
I'm more dead
Than alive.

Me Freaking Myself

In my cranium,
There's a den;
Full of beasts.
Some are hungry.
Some athirst.

They feed on,
My emotions
And grow.

The one that
Thrives on
My silence
Is too noisy.

The one
Feeding on
My loneliness
Is most violent.

The one
Brooding over
My insecurities
Making me inferior.

And the one
Trying to control
All of them is
Freaking me out.

Withering to Sleep

I wage wars on
The ceiling of
My room.

Write theories
On walls with
The flutter of my eyes.

I wrestle with
My pillow from
Left, right to wrong.

My bed knows it all,
About the
Bloodshed in my mind.

I don't fall asleep
Just like that.

Caught up in the
Whirlpool of
Over-thinking.

Fighting the
Leech-like
Thoughts of mine.

Dreaming,
Drowning,
Hoping, Choking.

I wither to sleep.

Long Nights

Some nights become,
Sleepless deserts.
Cold thoughts,
Heated up discontent.
All curled up,
I lie dead in the dark.

Old scars light up.
Some regrets and
A lot of guilt.
Bored, lonely and beaten up,
I feel the time that
Passes by my cheeks.

And like an ailing bird,
I flip around searching
For an oasis of sleep.
A sleep that might quench
The emptiness and help me
Through nights.

You Noisy Predator

You're anything but quite.
Leading a rampage in my head,
You're an unwavering agitation.

A den of unwanted questions,
Also an abode of utopian answers.
You're, the loudest conversation there is.

Tearing, tying, twisting,
And playing with what's left of me.
You're, my emotions' claustrophobia.

Why are you called silence?
When you're anything but quiet.
You smothering noisy predator.

A Nightmare Dressed like a Daydream

Climbing up the
Stairway of fantasy,
I was fast asleep.
The daylight hit so hard
That I'd to wake up. Again.
In the same Nightmare.

Now, there's nothing more,
Than my cold bones and
Rags of skin covering it up.

A few questions for which,
I don't have any answers.
A gloom around and
A screen staring at me like
I'm her subject.
Which I'm.

The Wall

I've seen you, lying dead.
On the grave of your thoughts.
Facing your insecurities,
Torn out. Dumb and dry.

Admiring your own reflection,
Beaming narcissistically,
I've seen you bloat. Full of life.
In all pomp. Jovial and high.

On any other day, 
I've seen you, changing masks.
Distraught over other's opinion,
Too concerned. Pale and shy.

From your apologetic cry,
To a regretful sigh. 
From your simmering ire to 
A guilt stricken wry. I've seen it all.

I've observed you long enough.
I've studied your shades like forever.
I've known you, better than yourself.
And my friend your secrets are safe.

I'm a Refugee

Without any;
Twist and turn.
Devoid of any;
Warmth or cold.
My days roll by aimlessly.

Like a refugee
From the past.
To seek an asylum
In the future.
I'm in exile presently.

While time dictates
My expatriation.
I've nowhere to belong.

Bleeding Words

The ticking of the clock,
Pierce through my sleep.

My prone mind slips,
Into the routine obsessions and
I restlessly open and close my eyes.

Breaking the tenacity of my will
My thoughts capture me,
Torture me to bleed words.

Sing Me To Sleep

And you ignore me.
These unfulfilled fantasies,
Strangle me mentally
And like a catastrophe,
Cascade down deep.

Where are you?
Come, emancipate me.
Decipher this silence and
Sing me to sleep.

Nightmare

These days,
My mind goes empty,
Heart remains drab.
I try to sleep but
Till late I keep awake.
The dead silence around,
Whispers rattle of shattered dreams.
These scars remind me,
The agony of those fresh wounds.
Closed doors at which I stare
Tells that I've been ignored.
For the promises that are broken,
I feel like weeping.
But I withhold it in eyelashes,
For no one is here to comfort me.
Then to divert from everything,
I just listen to tickling clock.
Slowly, the tickle drives me asleep.

-Jatri