mom's unshed tears,
my own suppressed angst
found me.
And the unintended jokes
of friends,
the passing comments
of strangers, became a
knife to hold me
accountable.
The image of that
school bully gleams
upon my face sometimes.
and the laugh of my
math teacher hails over
my trigonometry again.
The other ghosts I hid
in the kitchen cabinet
come to get me, and
the same useless gods
conspire against me
for being too holy.
All the rooms I enter
are infected with my past.
And the moment I
try to escape,
they unlock a new door
that has a bigger demon-
And I'm compelled to
fall deeper within myself-
while they ask
"Why can't I smile?"