but you keep going away.
I try to hold you,
but you keep slipping.
I don't try hard though.
I feel you would eventually
come around and fall into
my arms.
But that doesn't happen
either.
Is this entitlement?
I don't know. Fragile ego?
High self-esteem?
Low self-confidence
or just laziness?
I have no idea where
my present attitude
comes from.
I simply lack the fear
of losing you. I have,
but why doesn't it
reflect in my efforts to
hold you?
I know I'll be hurt, and
I'm gonna romanticize
this pain.
But while we are there,
while we are at this
absurdity that hangs
between a casual friendship
and a juicy affair-
The audacious possibilities
of things fill ideas into my head,
and I hang in there with
all possible restraints.
The 'could have beens'
and 'would have beens'
slip into a steady rot,
and eventually I gulp down
my predicament like I
loved it all from the start.