19 September 2026

Midlife

By age five, I was running 
around in the street with a 
discarded bicycle tire. 
The only aspiration was to 
get a sturdier tire of motorcycle
to flex a smooth ride. 

By ten, I gathered boys 
of my street to build a cricket 
team to challenge the teams 
from other streets. 
The only aspiration was to 
somehow win a rupee that 
would be at stake. 

By fifteen, I was in a 
residential school. 
I was head of the Blue House. 
I played table tennis and 
the only thing I looked forward 
to was to go to regionals, 
if not nationals. 

By twenty, I had no baggage.
high on hormones, stuck in
college. The teenage angst 
should have upped my game, 
but it was dumbed down by
philosophy I read that 
preached idealism. 

By twenty-five, I had fallen 
into the vicious cycle of cracking 
government exams. 
The shit hit the fan shortly.
The erstwhile aspirations got
subsided into a financial fatigue-

But fortunately, by thirty, 
I got lucky. My concerns were 
dealt with. I could focus on 
writing and a bit of travel.
I could stretch myself beyond 
my usual boundaries to 
some extent-

The existentialism I faced, 
catharsized into absurdism, 
I learnt laughing at everything 
till it became a habit. 

I am thirty-three now, 
I wish I weren't thirty five in
the next two years and 
If only I could manage to 
not behave like forty year old
to plan for my sixties-

I can still look in the eyes
of the teenager I was to
to hold on to something 
that I haven't yet lost.