Biting my nails. Sometimes hopes
Pumped up, I put up in my list that I
Should get a passport and a nice car
To travel across the mountains and the world.
Then there are days I've to deliberately
Remind myself to take a bath, shed the sugar
And take long noon naps as nights are
Already fucked. That's cold steel of
Self-actualization after looking at my wallet.
Sometimes there's a to-do list to wake up,
Sleep, read and write. And other things
That I think matter, to impact what course
Of Geographical timeline, I don't know.
But many times my lazy streaks run wild.
Nothing happens on those. No lists,
No goals. Only some hazy reminders
To not kill myself and jerk off less.
The insurance, taxes, room rent and
The unwashed clothes on empty chairs.
The trekking trails that mock my tiring legs
And the other stuff in a book with the bucket list
That I haven't Ticked off in five years-
It's exhausting.
A house, a marriage, a big fat salary and
Gifts for themselves, those who expect these
Vanities. Someone said I gotta plan a
Funeral too and design myself a tombstone.
My single room is small enough and heats up
So much in the summer that I've got an
Epitaph written already and I'm in search of
Someone who can write an eulogy.
Someone who can write an eulogy.
If you have it in you, come up dear as the final
Nail in the coffin.