Unkind Love

Don't talk to me in

Intermittence.

Make yourself available.

Give me attention.

Gift me your seamless 

Compulsion.

Don't delay your replies.

I don't want the 

Time gap to act as mirror 

That reflects cracks in

Our unhinged talks.

Loosen up.

Shed the inhibition.

Bring it all and make

Me shameless.

Ridicule me. Humiliate.

The anger. The dirt. 

The love and punishments.

Give it all.

The touch that wounds

and heals alike.

The rage that hails

Upon like a fireball.

Your distance,

Your strange tenderness.

The insults, the pity,

The ghosted neglect.

Mercy to cruel little pauses.

The words that lose heat,

And the frustration that 

Feels rehearsed-

Give it all till I kneel 

Before the indifferent 

God you've become.

Give it all and

Make me yours in

Every unkind way.

Give it all till, the silence 

Between us starts

Bleeding your presence.

Scratching Away Life

When I thrust my hand

In search of my usual

Stout manhood,

I couldn’t feel a thing 

In the morning.

A heist around my

Groin? What went

Wrong?

I guess I was dead.

Body lying around

Without any decency.

Mouth open.

Flies entering and 

Coming out.

Drool all over the 

Pillow. And hands 

Thrust in my pants.

Did I pass away 

Scratching my balls?

Hell of a last moments

Then- Three seconds

Of replay, maybe full 

Of relieving thoughts.

My son wouldn’t joke 

About me out of 

Respect, maybe.

But my grandkid, 

That devil,

He will scream about 

My awkward posture

in some podcast-

With a thumbnail,

"Men die as they live-

scratching problems

they never solved."

Soaking Her in a Song

When you soak her

In a song and keep

Listening to it 

Over and over-

The melodies stick

In your skin like

Someone cauterized

them in your bones-

The rhythms turn

into fragrance-

Even the sense of your

appetite emanates from 

the same tones-

Ohh! What a life.

What a disposition.

It's as if the moon 

Needs your validation.

Butterflies seek you

For color designs.

The sound of rain is

Your composition 

and you decide the

Picturesque course 

Of every river.

Your senses bask

In cosmic rhythms 

and you feel you're 

Forever redeemed,

Like you've tasted

Flight.

And your euphoria 

Is justified-

If love and music 

Doesn't give you wings,

Redbull never will.

Transcendent Grief

When your father is 

Bedridden in the hospital 

And you can't stand his 

Suffering.

Sitting in the hallway 

Listening to the 

Heart monitor beep-

Every once in a while, 

Scared to a jump,

Thinking,

It has stopped. 

Do we have a word for 

That feeling? 

When he passes away,

And you gotta console 

Your mom, but the words 

Don't come out-

The blood thickens in 

Your veins, rushes into 

Eyes, but tears fail to

Come out.

When these languages 

Fail and the senses 

Give up-

When you feel like 

Stranded in your 

Mother tongue-

Where do the feelings go?

Do they transcend 

All these situations,

Compulsions and confines 

Of the words? Or

Do they keep lingering

And finding vents-

Till one day when you

Realise, you walk like him

And dress like him, and

Carry the same attitude-

And you wonder about 

The grief that never left 

But learned a quieter 

Language like empathy 

and gratitude.

Moral Onus

Good people always 

Suffer and bad people 

Get away with their

Acts.

People keep saying 

That.

But who's good and

Who's bad?

The rich?

Crooks with silver spoons,

Bloody thieves in 

Glass castles.

Haughty, immoral and 

Not generous?

The poor?

Lazy with life,

Vices and bad behaviour.

The karma of past life has

Catched up to them?

We're perfectly 

Positioned, aren't we?? 

Not too high, 

Not too low.

From here, we can 

Look down and up,

To shift the blame on

Both sides.

Everyone is guilty,

except us. Isn't it?

Everyone cheats fate,

except us.

Everyone is stained,

except us.

This knack for 

Self justification,

As the moral compass

Always radiates out-

We shall draw a

Halo around our

Heads one day and

Worship the mirror 

That always shows

A flawed image of 

Others.

Perhaps that's how 

All religions evolved.

And nations-

We polished and the 

Mirrors got so bright-

A collective consensus 

Of not looking within 

Evolved, till the dirt 

Always seemed

Elsewhere.

Serendipity

Whatever book you 

Enjoy is the best 

Book in the world.

Whatever movie you 

Adore is the best 

Movie ever.

Whatever person 

You've enjoyed 

Your time with-

However brief-

Past, present, future.

They're the best

Person of the times.

Shed the judgment 

In the brain.

Shed the jargon.

Shed the rigid 

Intellect that says

Otherwise.

An inch beyond the

Clutter of the head lies

A playful child.

Innocence lives in

The moment 

And forgets-

Embrace change,

Accept diversity.

Go on with the flow-

Adapt, improvise

And move ahead.

Do your part and 

Wait for the sweet

Accidents that 

Unveil wonders-

Life is a journey

Not destination.

And we're more of 

Pilgrims than 

Travellers-

So hop on till 

Serendipity finds 

Us all in all the 

Unexpected places.

Forever Arrival

It’s arriving. 

It seems near-

In the next city,

In the neighboring village,

In the next street or

In the room beside me.

Sometimes,

in the cusp of my palm-

but never in my mouth.

Is this my forbidden fruit?

the forever arriving hope.

the never reaching fulfillment.

the persistent incompleteness

and uneasiness in the nose-

Sometimes I wonder

if it has passed past me.

I don’t know.

and perhaps I shall not know.

The night is long,

the breeze has been kind,

and the wait, after all,

is a worship that’s blind.

The distance between

desire and fulfillment

tending to halve after 

each leap but never 

enough to close the gap.

“Sunk cost fallacy “

said someone.

but what does a fool,

who calls himself 

a pilgrim know?

maybe Zeno’s ghost 

laughs from the edge 

of time for being 

part of his paradox.

close enough to ache,

never enough to touch.

Achilles outrun by 

A slow tortoise-

Fate always has an

upper hand.

Weightless

After years of punishing 

myself for not being able to 

forget you,

I wake up today-

and you’re not in the air 

anymore.

No trace of your scent

on my mornings,

no silhouette of your head

lingering in stories.

The world feels wider,

brimming with possibilities.

no more your eyes

burning holes in my back.

no guilt for not belonging

to your songs.

It feels strange,

to have dreams that 

are clean,

to breathe without 

reminiscing.

Sixty kilos off my 

shoulders, and

the lightness I feel-

must be the air.

the buoyancy in my 

bones- is this the fresh 

taste of freedom?

must be.

Deep sighs and 

smooth rides like

a soaring flight.

I'm a bird again?

Palatability

Toilet, bathroom, 

Washroom. Once loo, 

Now restroom-

The language keeps 

Getting sanitized.

Everything must be 

Palatable, softened, 

Perfumed, polite.

Crippled, handicapped, 

Disabled. Now, 

Specially abled.

Who rinses these 

Words in glitter?

Fired. Laid off. 

Downsized.

Talent restructuring.

Servant. Maid. 

Housekeeping.

Domestic help.

And now-

Home assistant.

Like we're gonna 

Treat them better 

With new names.

Bombing. Airstrike. 

Precision strike,

Collateral damage.

Ah yes, 

Surgical strike.

The political correctness,

To feeds the masses

The right kind of words

To sell the wrong 

Kind of truth.

The politeness in

Our words that 

Hide our intensions-

"Little boy".

"Laughing Buddha".

Guns painted in pink.

Violence rebranded

As revolution.

The facts strategically 

Placed in the gaps

Of headlines-

For the appeal of

The front page-

Cruelty now has a 

Smile.

Total Internal Reflection

When you watch 

yourself from within-

Loads and loads of

tar-loaded goo,

smothering you 

and drowning and

gulping you up.

You scream for help,

but from whom?

In an abyss that

echoes your voice 

and reflects a

person you have 

never met-

How do you escape

the absurdity

you've become?

You, yourself,

spreading for miles 

and miles-

an infinite loop

that's bent, twisted,

and turned within 

yourself-

A snare,

a void,

an emptiness.

or an open sky?

And that's a tragedy,

or emancipation,

or imprisonment-

you never know.

Wherever you turn,

you end up in yourself.

You are trapped or free,

you never know.

Travelling in yourself

to end up repeatedly

in yourself-

this re-enforced

concrete of self-

Does that make you

a better person or 

an infinite loop of 

total internal reflection 

pushes you into

narcissism?

Bon Appetit

If someone offered you 

A live chicken-

Would you cut it?

Would you hold it as it flutters.

Watch it bleed out,

Dip it in boiling water to 

Pluck the feathers?

Would you skin it,

Chop it into neat little pieces,

Boil it, spice it,

And enjoy your dinner?

Or would you rather 

Have an MNC to outsource

The work to its local

Branches-

To standardize a recipe.

Engineer a taste for 

Your tongue before you

Go gaga over the 

Illusion of flavor?

So what would you prefer?

The outsourced guilt

From a supply chain to

Supermarket. 

Or actual fingers buried 

In the blood before it

Lands in your tongue??

A packaged palatability 

For your conscience?

A raw Savory for its

Untamed taste??

Our compulsive acts,

Thrust down a system to 

Rinse them down with

A language that

Suits our morality-

And because a bullet 

Directly in the head 

May come with lots of 

Moral terpitud-

We shall outsource 

The work to remotely 

Controlled drones.

And the war crime 

That had become

Collateral damages 

Shall be game points

Soon-

So Bon appétit to 

The hunger spiced 

With lobbies.

Happy meals.

Intent

Intent is important 

to prove a crime,

according to IPC.

Action doesn’t matter much

without the intent.

Intent to kill,

intent to love,

intent to hate.

Loving without intent,

killing without meaning to.

hating without intending 

to hate.

But what if you can’t 

love someone

despite all the intent?

What if

the action

falls short?

What if I intend to kill you 

but all i could gather 

was just a little love?

What if I'm a bad bad

guy and despised myself 

all my life for that?

But what if I intend 

to die content,

but don't actually do 

anything about it?

but what if I intend 

to forgive myself just

before my death? 

what if I actually do?

does that wash away 

all the misery?

if I intend to be happy 

just before my death,

and die wearing a smile..

would you call that a 

happy life??

Is life just a long 

preface to a single,

deciding smile?

or that's just another

beautiful lie?

Constipation

when you can't tell

if your writer's block 

is erectile dysfunction

or just constipation,

you try writing about it

to figure it all out.

and when you deduce 

your work between 

a good poem

and a bad poem-

the former being a 

rare event,

and the latter being any

uusual poem-

you conclude:

this one is closer 

to shit than cum.

Running

I run and run, searching

for what I don’t know.

I run and run, knocking doors,

to find who I don’t know.

I ask questions,

answer them myself,

and run more and more-

to find myself, or to hide,

I don’t know.

The rooms I find are 

No home.

The rooms I find are 

No hideouts.

The rooms I find reek

My absence and 

The rooms I find myself in

push me to run more 

And more.

It’s the sweat and 

The drool and panting 

my guts out, mother.

It’s my existential angst

holding my face, 

Taunting me by sticking 

its tongue out.

It’s black tar dripping

from the roads that are 

Closed.

Sandstorms of dreams

That have turned into

Blurbs.

My shoes are torn 

from yesterday's chase.

But feet still move like

Body remembers what 

The mind tries to forget.

And I run and run again

Without meaning to

Like stillness is louder 

Than my breath.

Oh, I am tired, mother.

And I think I am done.

Save me from myself.

Unbirth my existence.

Take me back into your 

Womb and pat me down 

to a long rest.

I've been tired mother,

And hopeless-

Tuck me to sleep to 

Wake me up again.

Wonder between Pages

Our story is written 

Somewhere,

If not in Stardust,

In half-burnt charcoal.

If not in the golden pages

On the rough surface of 

Lichen-laden rock.

Preserved in a 

Century-old book,

If not in ancient exegesis.

Hints of old-style dried 

Roses between the pages,

Waiting for some kid to 

Accidentally read it.

He mumbles and laughs,

And screams in joy while 

Grasping words-

It’s fun to turn pages

And gleam with wonder 

Without even 

Understanding anything.

We are that story.

Not words.

We are the wonders 

Between the pages.

Turn to Silence

Turn to Silence-

Loneliness, aloofness, 

Isolation. 

Reclusive, seclusive.

Call it whatever you want.

But shut the noise.

Look within.

Dig a deep, deep well.

And take the plunge.

Scrape your own walls 

In the darkness.

Eat dirt.

Smell the stink.

But keep going.

There’ll be nails.

Broken glass.

Rat traps. Blades.

Broken condoms.

Failed relationships.

Mirages of money.

Cheap desires.

Overpriced temptations.

Your guilt gleams till

You're scared and 

Confused, but you gotta 

Get past that to 

Keep going.

You may see hints of

Light somewhere,

Don’t budge to its lure.

Don’t fall for its appeal.

For this is not a tunnel.

You are here to

Search for a spark.

You're in search of 

A fire within.

So keep going and

Go deeper, till you can 

Light a bonfire.

Don’t worry about 

The smoke. 

The spectators never 

Understand the fire.

Let them cough, 

Let them curse- 

They’ll call it madness 

Before they call it 

Awakening.

And only when you burn 

Enough within you 

Can really see how- 

Silence isn’t absence, 

It’s arrival.

Innocent Love

When love is still

A fresh paint out of 

Coloring books.

The idea of it being 

In a place beyond 

Good or bad--

It's actual butterflies.

Light legs, dance 

Moves and radio 

Playing your favourite 

Songs--

You couldn't even

Say her name aloud,

Thinking whatever 

You felt was sacred,

And it needs to be

Preserved--

A dreamy prince riding

A horse and a princess 

Waiting for him in

A glass castle--

The clouds gather,

It rains, and you're 

Stupid enough to 

Believe coincidences

And you actually smile.

Then, adulthood 

Eats innocence.

Your fantasies leak

From the gaps in

Time that's not 

Relative.

You dare say, love

Is not unconditional 

One day, thinking-

The realisation is a

Pumped up achievement--

But you'll not be

Knowing it just yet-

About how you 

Killed in yourself,

A child.

Demons

My demons stare 

At me from the dark- 

The clock whispers 

My name like I'm a 

Ticking bomb.

Every tick steals my 

Breath and I make

Deliberate efforts to

Remind me I'm alive.

The grip loosens,

Ground slips and 

Fate demands its

Rightful share-

How to hold it all

Together tonight?

I'm done tracing every 

Pulse like a prayer.

Done naming every 

Shadow of mine aloud.

This unusual knock

That seems to be 

From within today-

It breathes when I 

Breathe,

Grins when I choke,

And whispers- 

That only peace 

Is my surrender.

Mocking my efforts

To stay human,

Pushes me to edges

And I tend to give up.

If I let go,

Will it catch me?

Or will I discover

A new me, 

Tomorrow morning?

Soft-prey, marinated

In caffeine and despair-

Insomniacs are 

My favourite it says.

And lured by a few

Ounces of sleep-

My eyes close.

It turns dark.

The demon devours

Me, and whoever 

Wakes up-

Wears another shade 

Of eyebag, like 

The next morning is 

A Zombie Apocalypse.

Resurrection

When Grandpa got 

Bedridden, stopped talking,

Everyone began visiting-

Aunts, in-laws, cousins.

Aunts of aunts,

Cousins of cousins.

Every day sipping chai,

Talking, reminiscing,

Full meals and gossip-

Waiting for him to die.

His breath would pace up

Or eyes would abnormally roll.

And shivers in his legs-

He was in and out

While everyone waited.

Days passed and weeks.

People came and went.

Some stood their ground,

Some were frustrated

And never came back.

Some thought they would 

Return once he died.

The event became a 

Running joke eventually.

One day, he stood up.

After a while, he started 

Walking around.

Talking and cussing like

He always did.

His revival confused 

Everyone. 

To be happy or sad?

The churning of free

Sucrose while they 

Waited for him to pass-

Was it this uncomfortable

When Jesus resurrected?

Might be.

Maybe Jesus cussed 

Everyone who were 

Disappointmented by

His resurrection.

Someone took a note

And it's a religious 

Scripture now.

Shoes

Dad doesn't wear 

His shoes. 

Weak knees- 

He fell off a couple 

Of times.

Afraid of wearing 

Them now.

But he polishes 

Every morning and 

Slides them under 

The cot, like it's a salute 

To his body that 

Doesn't obey.

Dreams of running 

With the shoes on 

But the reality of

Every morning is

A defeat of limping 

In the house.

This struggle-

Past borders, 

Past medals,

Past time itself to

Cope with the new

Reality-

The battlefield now

Is the hallway,

And victory is simply

Not falling.

Dev n Danav

And when you look

Within yourself.

To make peace with 

Your Dev and Danav-

The unending turmoil 

From both ends,

Pushing you into more

Chaos-

The risk of poison 

When you churn

The ocean is forever.

The Halahal is 

Inevitable and the 

Amrit, at most 

Is dumb luck.

But should it mean 

Men shouldn't aspire 

Immortality?

One has to plunge

Into action believing 

Shiva may come

To one's rescue.

Rather- believe 

You yourself can 

Become Neelkanth.

And if you do-

You shall stand above 

All Dev and Danav.

So shall Halahal

And Amrit.

My Own Muse

For a day, or two,

Or longer still,

Let me be my own muse:

A mirage of hope

I chase within.

Can I place myself

On a pedestal-

To look at me

As I look at the moon?

Clouds made of 

Rainbows.

Periwinkles blooming

Through cement 

Cracks.

The last light of sun

Falling at right angles

On a restless tide.

Can I be the evening breeze

Brushing past her cheeks?

Can be a caress to 

Cleanse myself

In her fragrance?

Can I hold myself

Between a prayer and 

A dance?

A fragile ray of starlight

Defying an ancient giant?

Can I slip through

The cracks of inevitability,

And sing lullabies-

For myself, this time?

A mindless thought.

Irrational decision.

Sweet little accident

And an irresistible 

Grasp.

Like the same one 

In a million chance 

Of being born.

Can I be my own muse?

For making it this far.

Middleman

The Gods give bribe 

To the priest to hide their 

Intentions from the devotees.

Devotees pay a convenience 

Fee for speedy delivery of 

Their prayers to the deity.

Overwhelmed by the attention 

From both sides, The priest 

Decides to act funny.

Over it, excessively burps 

And farts. Stands half-naked

And jabbers in a language 

You don’t understand.

He is a self-proclaimed 

Pampered kid of Lord himself.

Always in shady scheme of things,

Patronizing devotees-

Slowly he makes cotton 

Balls out of the prayers,

Thrusts them in the ears

Of lord-

Each plea makes the god

A bit more deaf and 

Devotees a bit more desparate.

Till one day when the

Middleman declares-

How silence is the holiest 

Answer.

And the devotees offer more,

The crowd bows deeper.

The god grows dumber.

The priest grows fatter.

And faith remains-

Stripped, milked,

But forever obedient

And utterly blind.

Lust on Steroids

I claw at your back

As if carving scripture,

Each line a verse,

Each gasp a hymn.

Your breath floods

The hollows of my ear,

Hot, trembling,

Breaking my reason-

My head gallops 

Ahead of itself

And tries to bury me

In all your burrows in 

Search of the sweet

Sound of your moan.

I sense the sweat 

Of your armpit on

My fingers.

The meat of my

Manhood seeks a 

Refuge in your 

Feminine abode.

In the clash of sweat,

In the bite of skin,

We lose our names-

Man, woman, sinner, saint.

And when silence breaks,

It isn’t peace-

It’s the aftertaste

Of fire still smouldering

Between our hearts.

While feel you strongly 

Between my thighs.

May our love be lust

On steroids tonight.

Bomb it Terrorist

Gather your grief,

Put together a heap,

Bring in a bomb,

And blast it up.

Collect all the joyous 

Memories,

Prepare a molehill of 

Happiness,

And blast it up.

Pick up the anger,

The broken earphones,

Old diaries and the 

Person you are in the 

Mirror.

Conjure all the guilt,

Use it to cement 

The failed exams,

Burst cycle tires and 

Fever-ridden mornings.

Bomb it up and blast.

Let the shattered 

Pieces arise, smoke 

Gather around-

Cough, tears,

Cry it all out.

Move on like a terrorist 

After his job.

Don’t look back.

Be a bigot of the present.

Whore of thyself.

And overall, a kid.

Kid in Traffic

"If you wear the silver ring

And make a wish,

It would be realized."

Said the kid who was

Selling it in the traffic.

Selling dreams for ten rupees

Seems like a fraud.

But who are you to judge

The compulsions of 

His hunger?

But when you see the 

Same kid daily twice while 

You commute.

A familiarity grows.

Your feelings soften.

You consciously keep 

A ten-rupee note in the 

Shirt pocket one day to 

Readily give it away.

But you don’t see him 

The next day.

And for many days after that.

And weeks.

And eventually, when that 

Note goes away into your 

Next cigarette.

The smoke you vented-

For a brief while, you were

Concerned about 

How the kid must be 

Breathing the same air.

Slipping

You slip from dreams.

You slip from pics 

We forgot to take.

List of places we 

Should have been 

Exploring.

I try to hold on, but

You slip through 

The gaps in my 

Thoughts.

You slip from words,

Gasps and my

Frustrated sighs.

I built rooms of 

Silence to trap your echo,

But you slide past

My heart of glass.

You slip from prayers

And from curses alike.

Through unformed 

Memories, 

Half said goodbyes.

Soft silence and my

Thickened arrogance-

You slip till I can't

Recall your face.

You slip till your name

Becomes familiarly 

Strange.

A ripple on a lake

By a stone I once 

Threw, which 

Still manages to 

Reflect an image

That asks-

Alas! Stranger.

Didn't we once know?

Pound. Pound. Pound.

First, put on a layer.

Say that's for protection.

And that's okay.

Then another layer 

In the name of 

Social utility.

Pound. Pound. Pound.

A thick layer of concrete upon 

Both- Name it ethics, 

Morals, and idealism.

Then go on pounding 

Many layers -

Religion, language,

Culture, marriage,

Nationalism.

Till you grow out

Of your origins.

Then despise the

Nakedness. Despise 

The blunt truth. Despise 

Straightforward acts.

Rounds and rounds of

Lectures on sensitisation,

Sanitization and

Political correctness.

Pound. Pound. Pound.

Till they can't look

In the eyes.

Pound. Pound. Pound.

Till silence is virtue.

Till obedience is pride.

Till fear is renamed

Civility.

Pound. Pound. Pound.

Till the body is no body,

Till the self is no self,

Till the living are

Half-dead statues applaud 

For standing still-

And walking dead.

Spells and Jinx

The petals blooming 

Out of thorns.

Fragrance beneath 

Those cement walls.

I've seen you mumble 

Hymns of love,

Behind the face of 

Your anger.

You're tough, 

You're soft.

A mountain that can

Protect a flicker-

And a flame that can 

Be fire to tame a

Mountain's rage.

And because I want

To be grounded

In your pragmatism 

And float away in 

Your reveries-

Here, have a rose.

And my heart,

And many reasons-

A snowflake to be

Molten your palms.

A dew drop wanting 

To be liberated by 

Your feet-

I'm a Muggle in awe

Of your spells.

Jinx me more,

I'm happy to be a

Subject of your magic.

Am I not a Desert yet?

I've buried the

Names I knew.

Friends turned to

Faint silhouettes,

Lips that once called

Are cobwebs now.

I've walked through

My hollow self.

A museum of

Forgotten laughs-

Broken vows pinned 

Like insects.

I've dried out of 

My rivers.

Emptied oceans.

Blocked all the light 

And bleached up

Colours.

I've blocked all

The echoes.

The den of my 

Thoughts is abode

Of bird droppings

That are crippled.

Dreams are lost.

Aspirations, doused.

Ambitions for what??

Everything is ash 

And dust.

A skeleton with

Scraped off flesh.

But where do all

The tears come from?

Am I not a 

Desert yet??

The floods still

Find me.

The corpse still

Weeps.

Bigot Again

Yet again, she turns

Her back.

And the thousand 

Poems you didn't write,

Find all possibilities

To happily rot.

But life goes on 

You know.

The many sunsets,

And winters.

The yellow stripped

Off the flowers,

And the fragrance.

You try to clutch 

Your chances.

But you find no anchor 

Whatsoever.

And the pyres in

Your chest,

Many funerals in

Your head and

A fancy for looking 

At the ships that 

Capsize, growing 

Into a happy fetish-

You thought you'd 

Find peace when

The last known place 

Of nostalgia would be

Razed to dust.

But an apocalypse

Has always been 

The start of a new 

Religion and you're

Condemned to a 

Bigot of love again.

Gasping act

I'll pin you to the wall 

and armourously 

Kiss your back.

l'll undo your saree in 

Haste and unbutton 

The blouse with 

My mouth.

I'll devour your lips and

Drown in your eyes.

Dive in your bosom and 

Be lost in your bottoms.

I'll savour you, 

Taste you and make you 

Mumble hymns of

Basic biology so deep...

You'll weave poetry

with your gasps and

Tune it with your moans.

Saree

Stand stout. Don’t laugh.  

You’ve to believe me  

When I say I can dress  

You up in a saree.  

Extend your hands.

Let me put on the  

Blouse first.  

It might take an unusually  

Long time—  

Well, it does,  

To intimately button  

All of my promises  

Into your bosom.  

The pleating can be  

Tricky, but when I adorn  

Each fold with our  

Dreams and fantasies—  

Pulling you closer to  

Tuck the pleats into  

The skirt, like it’s my  

Compulsive fetish—

Don’t be surprised if  

I kiss your nabhi, or  

Inappropriately explore  

The mysteries  

That region could offer.

Wait patiently.  

And when I throw the  

Pallu over the other side,  

Pinning it on your right  

Shoulder like I’ve been  

Into this job for over 

Hundreds of years—  

I might take a couple  

Of steps back to  

Adore your beauty  

In its entirety.  

And that’s when you  

Should slip away,  

While there’s time.  

If I make an excuse,  

Saying there’s  

Something missing—  

It’s alright if I put  

A bindi, or just gently  

Kiss your forehead.  

But if I take my  

Intentions to your  

Sassy lips—  

Know that  

My edgy temptations  

Have kicked in,  

And thereafter,

You can’t escape the

Clutches of my 

Sweet sins.

Cupcakes

As I try to look her

In the eyes.

My shame repeatedly 

Breaking into a laughter.

Looking away.

Trying to look again.

Slowly getting used to

The depth of her gaze.

She smiles.

I look away and 

Come again with only 

A thought in my mind-

How to kiss her today.

My desire peeks in 

And out. Passion 

Knits rationality with

Love.

I ask her to lean to 

Whisper a secret.

But only dare to kiss

Her on the forehead.

She sits back and

Smiles wide.

She knows only so

Much can be done in

The restaurant.

The rest of the time 

That was left,

I lace my longing 

In the cupcakes she 

Brought.

Piece by piece I place

It between her lips

While I look her in 

The eye. 

My gaze steady--

Each bite

A hidden kiss,

A held breath,

A promise left unsaid.

And when the last piece 

Melt on her tongue.

There was no shame

Left. Only the comfort 

Of being known.

She understood 

A poet’s heart—

That sometimes love is 

Best served in 

Metaphors.

And birthdays are 

Sweetest when the gift 

Is simply accepting 

The love as it's offered.

Like this one was.

Waiting for you

And while I wait for you,

Wait to hear your voice.

Wait to have that one

Real glance -

I see the second-hand

On my watch turn into 

A knife,

Each tick is a slash.

Fatigue sets in.

My anger simmers.

I question your intentions 

And almost edge my

Longing into disgust.

But I wait.

I sit here gulping pain

And nursing my wounds 

With your thoughts.

And as you make your 

Steady appearance,

The flowers that bloom

Here, 

Ward off my misery.

Life seems sorted 

Thereafter.

Earth stands healed.

And I become the 

Same fool again.

Gag

I'll cut my tongue 

And hammer nails

Into my eyes to 

Push my tears back.

I'll hold those words

By neck and 

Trample hard on 

Thoughts before

They can manifest.

I'll drown in my

Own aloofness and

Choke on reinforced 

Silence, before I

Can I reveal to you 

My intentions again.

Once I feel,

You don't deserve my 

Attention. 

I'll assist myself to

The bottom of

The ocean-

To hide even my

Breath against the vain 

Of your your 

Disgraceful presence.

So adios,

You ungrateful wretch.

Maybe I gotta erase

This poem too-

You don't even 

Deserve my hate.

Butterflies

These butterflies in 

My stomach that

Whisper your name.

They tickle my fancy,

They colour my

World in new shades.

They get to head,

Go to the heart and 

Don't let me sleep.

I seek lullabies of

Of your lips in the dead

Of the night and 

You appear like a

Holy voice that 

Wash away my sins.

That's how you sing

Me to sleep these

Days.

And in half-dreams

I slip in better realms.

Only to wake up

Rinsed in starlight..

The butterflies again

And your name.

You're the enchantress 

Who has stolen me 

Away.

Intent to Preserve your Gaze

I've stolen your gaze,

And I intend to 

Preserve it.

I've wrapped it in my 

Favourite songs.

Soaked it in the fragrance 

Of the flowers I've 

Adored.

I intend to nurse it 

With my nostalgia and 

Nourish it with the presage 

Of great time that's 

Ahead.

Ohh! How I wish to be

Seen by your eyes

Again and again.

How I want my name 

To be uttered along

With yours.

How I want be stolen,

Intoxicated and 

Drowned in your depths.

And if only, redemption

Didn't lie in this yearning-

How I wouldn't even 

Dare fall for you--

But I do. I do. I do.

Intimate Peace Out

You keep your eyes

Set on me, and you

Look deeply- teasing 

Me for still having my

Clothes on.

The curve of your 

Wicked smile,

Already has the spoils

Of my persona-

Like I'm ready for a

War.

Well, I am.

Our fingers entangle

Searching for the 

Warmth our tongues

Battle for. 

And the legs spread

Aligning and realigning 

Repeatedly-

To transcend the barrier 

Of our skins.

We hurl at each other 

Our evil intentions 

Like soldiers on

Opposing teams-

Only to be humbled by 

Our panting breaths.

And our rush ceases 

Into a realisation that

We're just two refugees,

Seeking home in 

Each other--

So we peace out 

Into a submission of 

Feeble touches and

Happily sleep.

Head Lice

My tenant. Who was my 

Teacher as well at the convent.

She was fond of me.

Gave toffees, and

other eatables.

Would catch hold of

Me whenever I scratched 

My head to pick lice

In the evening.

I would offer her flowers

Randomly. It felt nice.

That winter, Mom went to 

Her maiden home for 

The third delivery. Dad was 

In the Army like always.

Felt forgotten and aloof

For months in my big joint family,

And only Ma'am felt like 

Family in the absence of 

Mom.

After the summer holidays,

When I returned from 

Visiting mom.

Ma'am wasn't there.

Married off. Gone.

I waited for her as my

Aloofness grew louder 

In the house--

The itch in my head 

Wouldn't stop.

I insisted on shaving 

My head in the following 

Month, when Grandpa

Took me to the barber.

Something broke me

That day and I suppose 

That explains, why I hate 

Shampoo to this day.

God Files Treason Against Darwin

God Files Treason Against Darwin

(for proving evolution and murdering miracles)

I gave them

Adam, and this particular 

Pastard gave them

A chimpanzee

With with bipedalism.

I said,

“Let there be light,”

He said,

“Photosynthesis.”

I carved Eve from a rib,

He said,

“uterus, cell division-

checkmate.”

One theory from him—

aland suddenly,

Floating somewhere between

Greek gods and Santa Claus-

I’m a myth??

They used to call storms

my wrath. Now it’s

“cyclonic pressure zone

over Bay of Bengal.”

I gave them

plagues to humble.

They gave me

Vaccines and said

“I’m good, thanks.”

I offered heaven for 

Obedience.

He offered Evolution

And a billion years

of paperwork.

Dear Darwin,

You killed prayers,

Turned temples

Into selfie zones.

You made them

Feel smart enough

To stop needing me.

Fine.

Let them have their evolution.

Let them trace

Grandpa’s lineage

To a lemur with abandonment 

Issues.

Let them

Map the genome,

Discover dark matter,

Build sexbots, smarter 

Than prophets.

But when they cry at 

Funerals or beg

The tumour to vanish by

Whispering my name...

A dejected grey Pigeon 

Will poop on your statue.

Because science,

For all its brilliance,

Never made a God

Who listens to 

The chemical fuck ups

In human head.

The Great Indian Cough-Off

It began

When someone started

Stealing laughter.

Quietly.

From WhatsApp groups,

Chai tapris,

Even Kapil Sharma reruns.

Jokes turned stale.

Faces forgot

How to crinkle.

Stand-up comics

Sat down in

Self-censure.

One man,

Near Ghaziabad,

Coughed so powerfully

It echoed in Parliament.

He was made Minister

of Health & Mucus.

News anchors began

Clearing throats

Instead of facts.

Debates sounded

Like TB wards.

Slogans turned to 

Luxurious wheezes.

“Freedom of Speech?”

No, no.

Freedom to Cough.

That's a thing now.

Coughers rose like poets.

Dry cough. Wet cough.

Nationalist phlegm.

Contestants lined up

Outside Ayush Ministry

for the Coughing Championship.

First prize:

A plastic lung that's 

Fluent and 

Lifetime supply

Of Vicks.

Coughing replaced clapping.

Replaced slogans.

Replaced silence.

One cough, one vote.

Two coughs, you're an influencer.

Three coughs? 

Too much freedom--

Sedition, probably.

But soon,

Coughs began to disappear.

Someone—maybe from

"Anti-national quarters"—

Started stealing them too.

Sucked them out

With nano-devices

and Section 144 notices.

That’s when it happened.

A man in Bareilly,

Perhaps god’s chosen one,

Farted during

An Aadhaar update.

The Earth paused.

And thus, began

The Age of Flatulence.

Panel discussions now began

With gaseous bursts.

National anthems

were remixed

With strategic toots.

Schoolchildren were taught

to respect loud farts

But fear the silent ones.

The PM called them

“Symbols of Organic Dissent.”

One MP spoke out:

“This is ridiculous!”

He was arrested.

His last recorded sound

was…

a suspicious squeak.

Soon,

Corporates joined in.

Patanjali launched

"Desi Gobar Gas™"

for the spiritually aligned.

Baba Ramdev

Held a press conference

With no words—

Just synchronized fart yoga.

But art suffered.

Poets were replaced

by stomachs.

Cinema replaced

with whoopee cushions.

The Constitution, now

a scratch-and-sniff.

Still, the people adjusted.

They always do.

They coughed when allowed,

Farted when blessed.

And in between,

They held their breath—

For what used to be

called Freedom.

The Sole Broker

I collect chappals

From stampedes-

Not bodies.

Not names.

Just resilient soles.

Rubber. Plastic.

Faith-worn. sweat-kissed.

Some still warm with

Unfinished pilgrimage.

___

I pair them-

Left with a right.

Sometimes a Bata

Marries a Relaxo.

Kolhapuri with

A Lee Cooper.

A child’s slipper gets

A grown man’s sandal.

A woman's shoe gets

A dirty flipflop.

And like anywhere else,

Even here,

Love of course is a 

Compromise.

___

Sprinkle Holy Water for 

Bloodstains.

But don't clean them 

Entirely.

Incense for odour.

A little glitter to make

It presentable.

Loss sells better

When it sparkles

You see and fetches

More when I adorn

Them with a made up

Story-

“This survived Kumbh 2025.”

"RCB's victory parade- hola ESCN"

“This one tripped a minister’s 

Convoy in Tirupati.”

“These? Blessed by accident. 

Someone literally died on 

Top of it.”

_____

Collectors love it.

NGO execs.

Art curators.

One Berlin museum

Paid ₹1.2 lakh for a 

Pair that smelled like

Cow dung and crushed belief.

One in New York got 

Over a crore just because 

It the bloodstains were 

Still fresh.

Sometimes,

A grieving family shows up.

“That slipper… it was my mother’s,”

they whisper.

I offer a discount--

Grief should never pay retail.

⸻

People ask:

“Isn’t this unethical?”

And I say:

So is God’s crowd control.

At least I give closure 

To a sole.

I’m not a monster.

I just turn stampedes

into exhibits.

Into commerce.

Into matching pairs.

I'm human..

An opportunist,

A capitalist and

I tend to profit from 

Chaos. And why not?

When someone with

A brush can do it?

When someone with

A book, pen and 

Broken words can do it?

Why not someone

With a conscience 

And a size chart with an

Ability to find 

An able match can't?

Why can't this be

Labeled as art?

___

It Was Over for Men

When Rosa Parks

refused to move from her seat—

we should’ve seen it coming.

That was the first crack

in the throne.

Then they snatched

voting rights.

Wore pants.

Cut their hair.

Took our offices

and didn’t even say thanks.

---

It was over

when Indira Gandhi

held a nuclear button

in one hand

and the parliament

in the other.

While Margaret Thatcher

turned strikes into statistics.

They became doctors.

They flew planes.

Engineers and architects.

Even lawyers till the

Divorce papers got

Real efficient.

We were done for

the moment when 

she stopped asking,

 “Can I go?”

and started saying,

“I already did.”

---

Then the internet 

Happened. 

We made a feet pic viral.

It was all accidental

But seemed like a

Crack of hope.

But we took it slow.

One step at a time.

You’ve won.

“You can be anything now.”

A slow and steady pampering

Is all it took-

"Boss babe, scientist, president, 

Fighter pilot—

But first, show us the haul.

The skin care.

The lashes.

That soft morning light

on your upper thigh.”

---

Then came the first 

Storm of hot steamy pics

On the internet.

We needed a better algorithm 

Is all to get what we need-

"Not footsteps

into parliament halls.

Not footprints

on the moon but-

Semi-nude pics with

Crushed lips. More and

More filters,

set to trending Audio to

Make them say

"You go gurllll"

---

She dreamed of Mars.

But her inbox

was full of men

offering $10

for a video

of her stepping on grapes.

She wanted to build rockets.

But her reels did better

when she whispered,

“Guess what color panties today?”

---

And while she filmed

“Get Ready With Me”

for the fifth time this week,

We quietly rewrote

The algorithms to

Encourage the same.

The lie was elegant—

It took them on a swirl

And eventually OnlyFans

Exploded.

“Empowerment is sexy, right?”

That's what we kept 

Whispering-

And so, liberation

became a filter—

not a fight.

Makes Savitribai Phule's

Ghost cry in the corner 

Today...

But, alas!

Feminism now rots

In the confines of 

Flashing flesh on screens

And we go happily 

Sipping pleasure

Over the rejuvenation of

Our sweet comfort -

Patriarchy.

----

Pothole Republic

I saw a pothole,

big enough to qualify for 

Aadhaar. It had depth.

Personality.

Probably a family of frogs

and an SBI branch inside.

I reported it.

They planted a sapling

in it and the next morning,

The sapling was gone.

The pothole had eaten it—

wanted roots, not reform.

It developed sentience.

They announced.

A holiday to celebrate 

The same.

It was declared as a

Protected monument—

Older than British roads,

More enduring than promises.

Now tourists arrive.

Locals pray.

No one fixes it.

No one can fix it now..

Divine energy is passing 

Through it someone said.

"Test your spines here

Like a prayer"

"Take a hard fall here

If you want an awakening"

And whoever falls is an

Offering now.

Two bulls, a few scooters.

and a manifesto has

Drowned so far.

A poet too has tripped in 

and found a deeper metaphor.

Now he lectures at JNU

on the "existential sinkholes

of Indian democracy."

The Chinese are 

Trying are trying to 

Reach out for research 

Collaboration but 

Even NASA has been 

Put on a wait.

"The Interplanetary Society 

For Theosophical Parody"

Has made it somehow.

Right now, stuck in traffic.

The debate on who's 

Gonna take the credit 

Has to be settled first.

The contractor and

MLAs have fought over

It already.

Many national parties 

And even the PM is

Fighting for the same.

But everyone knows it.

Everyone knows,

The credit has to go 

To Nehru.

First Day

If I were in the first 

Year of college today.

On the first day and 

In the first class-

Among the band of

Those lean girls with 

Deep eyes..

You would be there

Too-- soft cheeks

And a bright smile.

Not hesitating to

Laugh gracefully with

Those feeble lips.

Not at all bothering 

To mark my humble 

Presence-

Casually playing 

With the strands of 

Your hair to cook

Guys like me..

Who would still be 

Thinking, infatuation 

Is a crime.

Maybe I would slip

Into a whirlpool of 

Fantasy to fall for you 

Eventually, and never 

Conjure up any courage 

To confess about the 

Ocean I carry.

And maybe after 

Brooding for over 

Four years-

On the last day of

College, in the

Farewell Program-

I would gather just 

Enough voice to ask for

A pic with you and

My wingman would 

Mess with the camera..

And your persona in

The blue saree would 

Forever go fading in 

Memory for years or 

Perhaps for decades.

Male Gaze

A direct line of sight 

With a girl, in a local

KSRTC bus is rare.

But once a decade,

On a rare summer day,

It does happen.

Decent looking with

A crooked smile.

Almost a flirty nose.

But why a serious,

Knotted face?

Why does she look

Agitated?

The heat?

All male gaze?

My ugly face?

Grappling with my

Urge to look-

Standing in the aisle-

Clutching my hands

For support.

The crowd, 

The jerk of legs

That sway with the 

Motion of bus.

Yet my eyes fixated 

On her.. waiting 

For hints.. 

Trying to hold on.

Waiting for her gaze

To meet mine.

Then that sweet

Moment arrives-

The question on her

Face finds an 

Answer when she,

Throws up.

A spray of vomit.

The curry leaves 

And indigested 

Onion on the people 

In the blast radius-

Radiating smell 

Finding hairy noses

With or without 

Moustache-

Bus stops. 

Many rush out.

Few curse her.

My eyes still manage

To look at her again

In the aftermath-

A gleaming face.

Crooked smile.

A firm stare that 

Screamed-

How everyone 

Deserved something 

Like that.

Ape Meat

The best meal of 

China and the most

Expensive-

As claimed by my 

Friend, Hoooli Foook.

Cost him a fortune.

But he arranged it

For free, as a

Goodwill gesture.

The waitress who

Looked like a Midwife,

In the deep sea

Exotic hotel-

Served the hot

Omniotic soup first,

Followed by the 

Air-Fried-Umbilical 

Nachos.

Apes in this part 

Of the town, taste 

Better, said the 

Mermaid-faced Manager, 

While he instructed 

His crew to serve 

The main course.

The hype for 

The big reveal was 

Intimidating when

The waitress who 

Looked like she just

Got out of labour,

Announced "Fresh 

Out of my womb"

There were limbs,

An open head of a

Foetus garnished

With little fingers.

Took a minute to

Realize the pun in

'Best ape' but 

Snapped out of it 

To get along-

When Foook said

"What happens in 

China remains in China"

"Except for viruses"

I said to myself, 

Before I shifted my

My full focus on 

The delicacy.

DiiiiDiii

Bibliophile, Pluviophile.

She/her. Lowkey writer.

Full-time depressed.

Loud, upbeat. 

Swears a lot to look 

Cool among her affluent 

Peers.

Dogs and cats are

Didi's first love but hates

Men, like that's gonna

Up her game against 

Other ultra-feminists.

Goth look. Dark humor.

Body positivity and

'Go slay gurrrl' with overuse

Of vowels to highlight 

Her over-the-top emotions.

Upon that, an opinion on

Palestine is a must.

Gender fluidity is a

Newfound fetish and

Bisexualism is a

Compulsive dessert

Beside the other 

Delicacies of her big

Fat meal of pretense.

Mom's love is never 

Enough. Her brother 

Is always an asshole.

And of course Didi's 

Got daddy issues 

That are stacked even 

From a past life.

The food-lover,

Party animal, wanderlust.

The exotic places in

India aren't enough.

Didi has perpetual plans

To tick off ten more 

Countries before she 

Turns twenty.

High on self-awareness.

High on information.

She thinks she has 

Figured it all out by 

Being condescending

On boys who are 

Petty simps in the name

Of BFFs.

But maybe a rich-ass 

Dude, of whom she

Always dreams of-

Seems to be the only 

Solution for her delusions.

When he confines her 

To the commands of 

His mother to mass 

Produce Gol-rotis in

The kitchen-

The sweat off her brow

Would scream

How the Good dude, 

Vignesh, would have 

At least extended his 

Help to do the dishes.

No Ash, No Phoenix

The way I wanna 

Lose you.

The way I wanna 

Let you go.

But the urge to

Preserve and 

Remember you

Forever-

Like rose petals

Leaving hints of

Presence through 

Fragrance.

Songs leaving 

Traces of memories 

In the tones that

Don't wanna fade.

But the monsoons

Convincing me,

I can't hold you 

Any more-

The way I wanna

Make peace with

A drab feeling 

In my bones-

I write, rewrite 

Your name on my

Skin, but its tendency 

To disappear,

Again and again-

Time does his 

Job well, you see. 

The way he rubs

It off you, 

Doesn't leave any 

Stain.

He's a slow pacifier 

On a couch,

Smoking a cigar,

That doesn't need

An ashtray.

There's no phoenix 

Without ash.

And the way you're

Fading away-

No scars are left,

To scratch.

Social Mobility

Before returning to

His duty in the army,

Dad bought me a 

Chair when I was five.

Shortly, when the 

Village-landlord visited

Our dilapidated house.

Which reeked of 

Cattle dung and urine-

He couldn't stand 

The sight of a

Bright blue chair.

How could a mere

Labourer's house 

Have a chair?

And when there's a

Chair, how could he

Sit on the floor with

All that ego up his ass?

He commanded my

Grandpa to serve his

Ego with a kid's chair.

My poor chair with

Small arms and legs.

Accommodating his

Big-big-butts without 

Breaking-

Trying to hold entire 

Family's respect-

Like it was my dad's 

Part-persona fighting 

The divide here.

My chair did a good 

Job in straightening 

Our spines for next 

Two decades-

Before it was passed 

On to my niece.

Who now climbs on it

To reach the books

We never had.

Aftermath

It's been five years 

Since she died, and 

I haven't moved on.

Today is the last day 

Of Dashami, and 

I'm sitting here,

Wearing her Red saree 

and seven bangles

On each hand.

That's what the 

Tantrik said.

A Mandala made 

Out of Haldi and 

Kumkum. 

Soil from her grave 

In the middle with 

Limbu and Mirch-

After myriads of

Attempts, I invoked 

Her spirit successfully 

This time.

It was so good to

Hear her voice.

Her translucent body

Looked hot.

Everything was alright-

Till she sobbed and

Asked me in a 

Coarse voice:

Why did you kill me?

Readily, I threw on her

The enchanted ash 

To set her on fire.

The spirit, too, had to

Be killed to unlock 

The ancient treasure-

That's what the last

Page of the book,

Grandpa left me said.

Facts vs intellect

This year Mahanavami, I was aghast to see a warning board when I entered the temple of my village Goddess. It said, "Women are not allowed in the sanctum".

I slipped into a furious state of overthinking.

How can they say that?

How can they break away from the tradition?

Did the national politics enter my village already?

Did a loudmouth force his campaign into the temple?

Every year women from every household visit the temple. For nine days, they pour oil into the lamps allotted to them in specific slots in the racks. The temple shines, adorned with thousands of those lamps.

Even inside the sanctum there used to be rows and rows of lamps all these years. But this year, no. They excluded the sanctum with the warning sign that said women aren't allowed inside.

In the backdrop of Sabarimala temple and its a ban on entry of menstruating women. I thought the question of purity invaded even my village.

My bias against right-wing politics added tadka to my emotions. This made me take a pic of the warning board- to make noise about the same on Twitter.

But before I could post, I thought of enquiring about it first. And when I asked my father about the same expecting an answer I wanted-

His answer was more flabbergasting, to my shock and surprise. He said-

Because a new idol of the goddess has been installed. Women are prohibited, as they often touch the idol with oily hands. They've restricted the entry for nine days to prevent a mess.

Such a face-palm moment. Sometimes the problems are more basic and practical. That's why logic, reasoning, and intellectualism should always be backed with facts.

Roasted Liver

The dead body in the 

Backyard calls my name

In the night.

Asks me why I kill?

What do I tell? 

I like the smell of 

Raw flesh?

The sound of oozing 

Blood?

How I wanna give 

Sharp metals a better 

Purpose? or

My own lust has its 

Way to manifest me 

A greater revelation?

Ohh! It's such a 

Pristine compulsion.

What do I tell it?

Can it even understand 

The gravity of passion?

What a rush it is to

Isolate a subject.

Stab them in the heart.

Drain out all the blood 

Through just an ooze.

Run out of breath in the

Act. Feel hungry as hell

After that.

Then roast just the 

Liver on low flame with 

Just salt and pepper-

To feel my art on

My tongue.

Ohh! Great art is all 

Hunger and food.

Passion translating into

Juicy fetish in your 

Mouth- 

Good art is a 

Roasted liver for 

The fancy of one's 

Taste buds.

Dog Evangelism

My landlord's dog looks

Me in the eyes.

Looks so deep, my butt

Quivers in angst.

Maybe it fancies looking 

Past my flesh to feel

My ribs in her mouth.

Her unconditional hate

For me, must have turned 

Into a juicy fetish and

She must be waiting 

For my ready demise.

Every time my landlord 

Plays fetch with her,

Looking at my direction-

She bites the ball so hard,

My soul from previous

Life feels threatened.

She seems to have

Created a hiccup in my

Existence already, and I 

Take the lord's name-

Every time I sneeze like 

My grandma did to ward

Off possible evil.

The little bastard has

Kicked out atheism in me.

I wonder what kind of

Evangelism is this.

When I Can't Fall in Love

When I saw you 

Yesterday, standing 

Outside the metro.

The sky didn't melt.

Earth didn't shake.

It didn't rain.

And as we walked,

As I tried to catch 

Your glance-

My stomach didn't 

Conjure any butterflies.

Or my head didn't sink

In imagination of a

Rainbow laden sky.

Blood didn't rush

To my veins, bones

Or to the one that 

Erects.

I wonder if this isn't 

Love. I wonder if 

This longing isn't 

Enough.

I've deliberately 

Dug up my fantasies 

To plant my desire-

But nothing has 

Bloomed yet.

It feels weird to not

Fall for you.

These bones of Iron

And muscles of steel

And the sparks that

Fall short in the nerves

Ask only one thing-

What's worse?

Digging up love when

There isn't or unable 

To feel its presence 

When it's abundant.

Delulu

This wind that 

Must be passing 

Through her loose 

Hair..

The stream that 

Must have flowed

After caressing her

Gentle feet..

This feeling of 

Breathing under the 

Same sky as her.

Feeling constantly 

Her whispers in my 

Ears-

I paint her with my

Fascination in the 

Eye of my mind.

I adorn her with 

Stardust in my heart.

The artist I wanna 

Become, what a 

Feast, she is to my 

Rose-scented desires.

Lost in the maze 

Of swirling starlight.

Dumb struck and 

Humble..

Ohh! How astray 

I am on my own 

Definitive paths. 

I know the birds 

In the sky, give no 

Damn about me but 

How good it feels to

Say to myself-

They might be 

Carrying the songs

She has sung,

Why else would they 

Chirp so good in

A place where I

Happily reside?

Fading

There's a memory of 

You and me.

Sitting by a lake.

Stream of water 

Flowing through our

Feet and you talking 

About an exotic fish.

I try to hold on to it.

I paint it daily in the 

Canvas of my mind.

Attend to details,

Fine-tune it to the way

It's supposed to look.

It's been a decade

With this carpentry 

And for the first time 

Now. This morning I've 

Forgotten your face. 

The shape of your 

Nose has faded out

Of my fancy.

Glint of your eyes 

Has disappeared in

The hiccups in my

Longing.

The tone of your

Voice seems to have

Embraced a void 

And your fragrance 

Has stopped triggering 

The saudede in that

Place beyond.

I try to hold onto your

Your silhouette at least.

Try to fill you in from

The archives.

But another year passes 

By and I find myself 

Painting the lake bland 

With me alone looking 

Vacantly in the distance.

Maybe I'm with thoughts 

Of that exotic fish

You talked about.

Not knowing you faded

Away mid-sentence-

Still too eager hear the

Next thing you'd want

To say. But there's 

Silence and silence 

And silence..

Incel

I don't know what to do

With the throb of my 

Blood or the frustration 

Simmering in my gut.

Hardly any work or

Self-worth. Living on

Father's money and

The disappointment 

I am to my family-

I don't know how to

Deal with this built

Up insanity- than wear 

A stoll and conspicuous 

Tilak on my forehead.

A heavy metal gada

On my wrist and

Thick moustache to

Ooze the void of 

My soul-

But what to do with

The masculinity I've 

Embraced to cope with 

The society?

How about I go

Harrassing the lovers

In parks?

Beat up comedians 

For making people 

Laugh?

What right do they've 

To enjoy while I sulk

In my sourness?

How dare they go

Un-auccounted for the

Peaceful life they lead?

They're ruining our 

Culture and I've to 

Self-appoint myself to 

Protect it.

So lemme gather all 

The incels in one place.

We can create issues

Where there are none.

We can talk louder to

Let others pretend on

Our behalf.

Most would be married 

And busy with families.

Who's gonna mess with

Guys who think with 

Their dicks anyway?

We're gonna be ruling 

These cowards soon-

Our elevation to divinity

Is just an election away.

Painter

He paints a door on the

Wall so that someone 

Would walk in his life.

Plucks stars at night to

Adorn his room- he's 

Forever welcome for the 

Wayfarer he's waiting.

He has designed a

Clock that can transport 

Anyone to a new place

At anytime-

But he doesn't want

An easy way out.

The silver ring he has

Designed can materialise

Any wish of his-

But he has seen only 

Disappointments so far.

When asked why,

He just says-

I'm a painter that's why.

That he needs something 

To hold on and 

Anything is true in his

Imagination.

But the reality would 

Always be his cold room

With the stink of paint.

Says that repeatedly 

And paints an angel who

Takes him to heaven.

Lullabies are in colours 

For him and he sleeps

Listening to his shades.

Art is his mother, lover

And the divinity he craves.

The doors he wants

To open or close are

All in there.

To escape or to not

Escape- the line is

Blurry but he has made

His peace- 

Lives another day to

Surprise himself 

Again. And again.

Telepathy

We lie under the fan 

Rubbing our warmth 

Onto each other.

You ask me to say

Something.

I run out of words.

You run your fingers 

On my chest.

I try to read the

Patterns you make-

I try to translate it

On your back in a

Language you don't 

Understand.

We both fantastically 

Fail at it.

But it's fun.

Language seems to be

A a scam in bedroom.

Maybe be it should 

Be banned.

I know telepathy 

Doesn't exist-

But the way our skins

Talk without words-

Two thermodynamic 

Systems suspended 

From outside affairs-

We try to dive into 

Each other, deeper 

Each time and 

The exploration is 

Never enough.

Only Laughing Makes Sense

At this age and at this

State of mind.

Everything seems 

Laughable.

You know every other 

Emotion has failed you.

Anger doesn't help.

Kindness doesn't get

You anywhere.

Forever love is ephemeral.

Loyalty is opportunism.

And hate and anger 

Is more harmful to 

Oneself than others.

You fairly know how

Every other person is

Gonna behave.

You know very well how

You're gonna reciprocate.

You know pain doesn't 

Last. Happiness doesn't

Stay for long.

So you laugh at the 

Stuff you predicted and 

It turned out to be true-

You're a lowkey Buddhist 

Philosopher yourself 

By now.

And then again you laugh 

More at the things that

Fail despite all the logic 

And calculations-

You laugh at the 

Randomness.

You laugh how every 

Other random outcome 

Reenforces the belief 

This wild chaos.

You laugh because 

You're a fool.

You laugh because 

There no one way to

Fix this. You laugh 

Because you're always 

Disappointed-

In you. Others and

The universe.

Gloating Satisfaction

You're the breeze teasing 

With my hair.

Moist feeling playing 

Around my eyelids.

Love is a sensual feeling 

And I feel you on my skin.

My eyes bulge, fingers

Quiver. Mind turns hazy

And I feel my veins bulge 

At your instance.

My imagination runs wild.

There's sweat and mix

Of our drool. Battle of

Breaths and violations 

With our lips-

Love in it purest sense

Seems to be just transfer 

Of bodily heat and fluids.

It's as physical as it gets.

When these fingers 

Explore the undulations

Of your flesh. Gloating 

With divine satisfaction-

Hints of my platonic 

Passion on your neck.

If we aren't ashamed 

Of our sweet sins 

The next morning-

Consider we put love's 

Unconditionality to 

Shame.

Dating a Self Aware Girl

I almost fell for you.

I was almost yours.

But I don't know why

I flinch when I look

Long at you.

I don't know why can't 

I loosen up myself 

Around you.

I almost called you

My moon on our

First date.

Almost drowned in

Your sensuous eyes.

But couldn't face

You outright.

The songs I couldn't 

Send you late at

Night. The naughty 

Memes that stay

Unsent with your 

Name written all over

Them-

The urge to stand 

Close to you and

Unintentionally touch-

But my deliberate attempts 

To maintain a distance-

You're too much you

Know.

It's like I'm always 

Scrutinizing myself in 

Your presence.

Like I'm standing 

In front of a mirror and 

You read my intentions 

Beforehand.

I wish I could just

Go away. I wish I could 

Find a home that's 

Less complicated.

But the standards you've 

Set are so high-

Every other hospitality 

Is gonna feel like

There's something

That it lacks.

This fog of silence 

Between us.

The unsure air edging 

Us towards an uncertain 

Fate.

I'm sure I'm gonna 

Drunk call you soon.

Just don't tell me

You saw it coming.

I don't want you to

Read me again.

If you could have 

Only stopped treating

Me like a Test-subject 

In your poems-

We could actually been 

On a voyage to that

Place you poets call

Muse.

Wishful nostalgia

You dream of her

Across an open field.

Standing with open

Arms. Wind blowing 

In her hair-

You running towards 

Her and clouds

Gathering just to

Pour down for this

Union.

You dream of her

Lying beside you-

Playing with her

Braids. Running 

Your fingers on 

Her feet-

Feeling her like the

Mild melody of 

Anklets.

Time frozen in her

Fragrance-

Peace chasing you

To be your slave.

But what happens 

To dreams?

What happens to

Dreams of a summer

Noon?

Heat gets to you.

You wake up to

The dead air in the

Room wondering if

It's tomorrow-

A sweet taste of

A cherry from a 

Past life gets to you

Aamidst stink 

Of sweaty reality-

You smile at yourself 

Like you always do 

And let it go.

Manipulation

Every time you closed 

Her Eyes from behind,

The names she guessed 

Dropped dead.

After years of this.

After feeling there's too

Much blood on your hands.

You confront her.

And that day, when 

She uttered your name

From her sassy lips-

You stood in front of

The mirror, smiling.

And cut your throat.

But your reflection 

Walked out of the mirror,

Bearing a different name-

Only to close her eyes

From behind and stand

Dumb struck when she

Utters another name.

Who's that guy, you ask..

The one you just killed,

She retorts.

Ephemeral Rapport

Our ships got wrecked 

At the same time and

We got stranded on

An island for a while.

There was nothing to 

Do much except talk

About poetry.

You wrote to me and

Read it to the birds.

I learned to write too 

And you were happy to

Listen.

Good times, really.

The breeze was clean.

Night-sky was promising.

But how long can one

Be stranded?

The rescue teams 

Showed up like age

Though we didn't 

Want them to.

We were pulled back 

To normalcy.

We were briefly alive 

In the long stretches of

Our reveries- to become 

Metaphors with wings.

But whatever grows

Wings should fly.

So there you go-

Go soar high.

I got an ocean waiting 

For me, hopefully.

Lemme happily dive.

Distance is a Trick

We sat across screens

Staring into each other's 

Eyes- watching the 

Same movie in sync to feel 

Each other across a 

Continent-

We carried a different 

Divide when we decided 

To fall apart in the

Same corner of the room

We stayed for years.

Distance has always 

Been a trick.

It's a truth, till it isn't.

An abyss, till it's filled.

It's light with faster speeds

But unable to penetrate 

A brooding mind-

It's dead of the dark as

A definitive norm-

A ray of photons was

Always an exception,

Till it wasn't.

Space has always been

Empty until it wasn't.

Silence has always been

Deafening till your

Anklets filled the void.

These sentences,

Turning into footsteps 

Somewhere.

Scaling kilometres.

Climbing mountains-

My voice almost reached 

You again-

Longing lept barriers to

Pass through your hair.

This heart was always

Empty. It really beat for 

You till it didn't.

Apathy here has always

Been a norm.

I thought I had it all 

Sorted till your presence 

Felt more in your absence.

Distance is a ghost

Desperately wanting to 

Be alive.